why my brain is so naturally negative now;

I wasn't always this way.

Okay, guys. Just count on me not being consistent. I am just way too fucked-up right now. I feel like an entity lugging around a corpse most of the time anymore. I am waking up before I am ready to just to force food in my face and go someplace I don't wanna be for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. I'm relying on unhealthy vices to feel some form of pleasure in a world that feels bleak to me about 95% of the time. I just feel hopeless, pathetic, unloved, unwanted. My head hurts, my heart is void, and I just can't hide it anymore. I'm unhappy. Truly unhappy. I have no papers to my name due to me being homeschooled, I don't have time to pursue my creativity, I honestly just wanna unexist most of the time. I'm tired of spending this existence just surviving and not thriving.

Seeing things I didn't notice as a kid, and it just makes it even better.

Unironic "Yandere Dev" fans when they find out their shitty Unity game will never be finished:

Sometimes the Lord yeeteth,

and sometimes the Lord yoinketh away;

but ya boy will have his comeback,

so prepare for the approaching day.

Meanwhile I'm just here wanting a simple life with a hubby.

How is it that I am a natural baritone learning how to sing higher octaves, but I also have a naturally high voice and am learning how to do more mature voices?

"Hey, cutie!"

Me:

"Oh my god! Your music is amazing!"

Me again:

how many of you would join it?

(I would essentially upload my WIPs and other such things there for possible feedback)

Them: "Where do see yourself in five years?"

Me: "Hopefully seeing my music being used alongside that guy playing the flaming piano on a beach, and posted spontaneously by someone I've never spoken to on the internet."

Them "...What?"